There
was once a king, and he had a queen; and he was the manliest of his sex, and
she was the loveliest of hers. The king was, in his private profession, under
government. The queen's father had been a medical man out of town.
They
had nineteen children, and were always having more. Seventeen of these children
took care of the baby; and Alicia, the eldest, took care of them all. Their
ages varied from seven years to seven months.
Let
us now resume our story.
One
day the king was going to the office, when he stopped at the fishmonger's to
buy a pound and a half of salmon not too near the tail, which the queen (who
was a careful housekeeper) had requested him to send home. Mr. Pickles, the
fishmonger, said, 'Certainly, sir; is there any other article? Good-morning.'
The
king went on towards the office in a melancholy mood; for quarter-day was such
a long way off, and several of the dear children were growing out of their
clothes. He had not proceeded far, when Mr. Pickles's errand-boy came running
after him, and said, 'Sir, you didn't notice the old lady in our shop.'
'What
old lady?' inquired the king. 'I saw none.'
Now
the king had not seen any old lady, because this old lady had been invisible to
him, though visible to Mr. Pickles's boy. Probably because he messed and
splashed the water about to that degree, and flopped the pairs of soles down in
that violent manner, that, if she had not been visible to him, he would have
spoilt her clothes.
Just
then the old lady came trotting up. She was dressed in shot- silk of the
richest quality, smelling of dried lavender.
'King
Watkins the First, I believe?' said the old lady.
'Watkins,'
replied the king, 'is my name.'
'Papa,
if I am not mistaken, of the beautiful Princess Alicia?' said the old lady.
'And
of eighteen other darlings,' replied the king.
'Listen.
You are going to the office,' said the old lady.
It
instantly flashed upon the king that she must be a fairy, or how could she know
that?
'You
are right,' said the old lady, answering his thoughts. 'I am the good Fairy
Grandmarina. Attend! When you return home to dinner, politely invite the
Princess Alicia to have some of the salmon you bought just now.'
'It
may disagree with her,' said the king.
The
old lady became so very angry at this absurd idea, that the king was quite
alarmed, and humbly begged her pardon.
'We
hear a great deal too much about this thing disagreeing, and that thing
disagreeing,' said the old lady, with the greatest contempt it was possible to
express. 'Don't be greedy. I think you want it all yourself.'
The
king hung his head under this reproof, and said he wouldn't talk about things
disagreeing any more.
'Be
good, then,' said the Fairy Grandmarina, 'and don't. When the beautiful
Princess Alicia consents to partake of the salmon, - as I think she will, - you
will find she will leave a fish-bone on her plate. Tell her to dry it, and to
rub it, and to polish it till it shines like mother-of-pearl, and to take care
of it as a present from me.'
'Is
that all?' asked the king.
'Don't
be impatient, sir,' returned the Fairy Grandmarina, scolding him severely.
'Don't catch people short, before they have done speaking. Just the way with
you grown-up persons. You are always doing it.'
The
king again hung his head, and said he wouldn't do so any more.
'Be
good, then,' said the Fairy Grandmarina, 'and don't! Tell the Princess Alicia,
with my love, that the fish-bone is a magic present which can only be used
once; but that it will bring her, that once, whatever she wishes for, PROVIDED
SHE WISHES FOR IT AT THE RIGHT TIME. That is the message. Take care of it.'
The
king was beginning, 'Might I ask the reason?' when the fairy became absolutely
furious.
'WILL
you be good, sir?' she exclaimed, stamping her foot on the ground. 'The reason
for this, and the reason for that, indeed! You are always wanting the reason.
No reason. There! Hoity toity me! I am sick of your grown-up reasons.'
The
king was extremely frightened by the old lady's flying into such a passion, and
said he was very sorry to have offended her, and he wouldn't ask for reasons
any more.
'Be
good, then,' said the old lady, 'and don't!'
With
those words, Grandmarina vanished, and the king went on and on and on, till he
came to the office. There he wrote and wrote and wrote, till it was time to go
home again. Then he politely invited the Princess Alicia, as the fairy had
directed him, to partake of the salmon. And when she had enjoyed it very much,
he saw the fish-bone on her plate, as the fairy had told him he would, and he
delivered the fairy's message, and the Princess Alicia took care to dry the
bone, and to rub it, and to polish it, till it shone like mother-of-pearl.
And
so, when the queen was going to get up in the morning, she said, 'O, dear me,
dear me; my head, my head!' and then she fainted away.
The
Princess Alicia, who happened to be looking in at the chamber- door, asking
about breakfast, was very much alarmed when she saw her royal mamma in this
state, and she rang the bell for Peggy, which was the name of the lord
chamberlain. But remembering where the smelling-bottle was, she climbed on a
chair and got it; and after that she climbed on another chair by the bedside,
and held the smelling-bottle to the queen's nose; and after that she jumped
down and got some water; and after that she jumped up again and wetted the
queen's forehead; and, in short, when the lord chamberlain came in, that dear
old woman said to the little princess, 'What a trot you are! I couldn't have
done it better myself!'
But
that was not the worst of the good queen's illness. O, no! She was very ill
indeed, for a long time. The Princess Alicia kept the seventeen young princes
and princesses quiet, and dressed and undressed and danced the baby, and made
the kettle boil, and heated the soup, and swept the hearth, and poured out the
medicine, and nursed the queen, and did all that ever she could, and was as
busy, busy, busy as busy could be; for there were not many servants at that
palace for three reasons: because the king was short of money, because a rise
in his office never seemed to come, and because quarter-day was so far off that
it looked almost as far off and as little as one of the stars.
But
on the morning when the queen fainted away, where was the magic fish-bone? Why,
there it was in the Princess Alicia's pocket! She had almost taken it out to
bring the queen to life again, when she put it back, and looked for the
smelling-bottle.
After
the queen had come out of her swoon that morning, and was dozing, the Princess
Alicia hurried up-stairs to tell a most particular secret to a most
particularly confidential friend of hers, who was a duchess. People did suppose
her to be a doll; but she was really a duchess, though nobody knew it except
the princess.
This
most particular secret was the secret about the magic fish- bone, the history
of which was well known to the duchess, because the princess told her everything.
The princess kneeled down by the bed on which the duchess was lying,
full-dressed and wide awake, and whispered the secret to her. The duchess
smiled and nodded. People might have supposed that she never smiled and nodded;
but she often did, though nobody knew it except the princess.
Then
the Princess Alicia hurried down-stairs again, to keep watch in the queen's
room. She often kept watch by herself in the queen's room; but every evening,
while the illness lasted, she sat there watching with the king. And every
evening the king sat looking at her with a cross look, wondering why she never
brought out the magic fish-bone. As often as she noticed this, she ran up-
stairs, whispered the secret to the duchess over again, and said to the duchess
besides, 'They think we children never have a reason or a meaning!' And the
duchess, though the most fashionable duchess that ever was heard of, winked her
eye.
'Alicia,'
said the king, one evening, when she wished him good- night.
'Yes,
papa.'
'What
is become of the magic fish-bone?'
'In
my pocket, papa!'
'I
thought you had lost it?'
'O,
no, papa!'
'Or
forgotten it?'
'No,
indeed, papa.'
And
so another time the dreadful little snapping pug-dog, next door, made a rush at
one of the young princes as he stood on the steps coming home from school, and
terrified him out of his wits; and he put his hand through a pane of glass, and
bled, bled, bled. When the seventeen other young princes and princesses saw him
bleed, bleed, bleed, they were terrified out of their wits too, and screamed
themselves black in their seventeen faces all at once. But the Princess Alicia
put her hands over all their seventeen mouths, one after another, and persuaded
them to be quiet because of the sick queen. And then she put the wounded
prince's hand in a basin of fresh cold water, while they stared with their
twice seventeen are thirty-four, put down four and carry three, eyes, and then
she looked in the hand for bits of glass, and there were fortunately no bits of
glass there. And then she said to two chubby-legged princes, who were sturdy
though small, 'Bring me in the royal rag-bag: I must snip and stitch and cut
and contrive.' So these two young princes tugged at the royal rag-bag, and
lugged it in; and the Princess Alicia sat down on the floor, with a large pair
of scissors and a needle and thread, and snipped and stitched and cut and
contrived, and made a bandage, and put it on, and it fitted beautifully; and so
when it was all done, she saw the king her papa looking on by the door.
'Alicia.'
'Yes,
papa.'
'What
have you been doing?'
'Snipping,
stitching, cutting, and contriving, papa.'
'Where
is the magic fish-bone?'
'In
my pocket, papa.'
'I
thought you had lost it?'
'O,
no, papa.'
'Or
forgotten it?'
'No,
indeed, papa.'
After
that, she ran up-stairs to the duchess, and told her what had passed, and told
her the secret over again; and the duchess shook her flaxen curls, and laughed
with her rosy lips.
Well!
and so another time the baby fell under the grate. The seventeen young princes
and princesses were used to it; for they were almost always falling under the
grate or down the stairs; but the baby was not used to it yet, and it gave him
a swelled face and a black eye. The way the poor little darling came to tumble
was, that he was out of the Princess Alicia's lap just as she was sitting, in a
great coarse apron that quite smothered her, in front of the kitchen-fire,
beginning to peel the turnips for the broth for dinner; and the way she came to
be doing that was, that the king's cook had run away that morning with her own
true love, who was a very tall but very tipsy soldier. Then the seventeen young
princes and princesses, who cried at everything that happened, cried and
roared. But the Princess Alicia (who couldn't help crying a little herself)
quietly called to them to be still, on account of not throwing back the queen
up-stairs, who was fast getting well, and said, 'Hold your tongues, you wicked
little monkeys, every one of you, while I examine baby!' Then she examined baby,
and found that he hadn't broken anything; and she held cold iron to his poor
dear eye, and smoothed his poor dear face, and he presently fell asleep in her
arms. Then she said to the seventeen princes and princesses, 'I am afraid to
let him down yet, lest he should wake and feel pain; be good, and you shall all
be cooks.' They jumped for joy when they heard that, and began making
themselves cooks' caps out of old newspapers. So to one she gave the salt-box,
and to one she gave the barley, and to one she gave the herbs, and to one she
gave the turnips, and to one she gave the carrots, and to one she gave the
onions, and to one she gave the spice-box, till they were all cooks, and all
running about at work, she sitting in the middle, smothered in the great coarse
apron, nursing baby. By and by the broth was done; and the baby woke up,
smiling, like an angel, and was trusted to the sedatest princess to hold, while
the other princes and princesses were squeezed into a far-off corner to look at
the Princess Alicia turning out the saucepanful of broth, for fear (as they
were always getting into trouble) they should get splashed and scalded. When
the broth came tumbling out, steaming beautifully, and smelling like a nosegay
good to eat, they clapped their hands. That made the baby clap his hands; and
that, and his looking as if he had a comic toothache, made all the princes and
princesses laugh. So the Princess Alicia said, 'Laugh and be good; and after
dinner we will make him a nest on the floor in a corner, and he shall sit in
his nest and see a dance of eighteen cooks.' That delighted the young princes
and princesses, and they ate up all the broth, and washed up all the plates and
dishes, and cleared away, and pushed the table into a corner; and then they in
their cooks' caps, and the Princess Alicia in the smothering coarse apron that
belonged to the cook that had run away with her own true love that was the very
tall but very tipsy soldier, danced a dance of eighteen cooks before the
angelic baby, who forgot his swelled face and his black eye, and crowed with
joy.
And
so then, once more the Princess Alicia saw King Watkins the First, her father,
standing in the doorway looking on, and he said, 'What have you been doing,
Alicia?'
'Cooking
and contriving, papa.'
'What
else have you been doing, Alicia?'
'Keeping
the children light-hearted, papa.'
'Where
is the magic fish-bone, Alicia?
'In
my pocket, papa.'
'I
thought you had lost it?'
'O,
no, papa!'
'Or
forgotten it?'
'No,
indeed, papa.'
The
king then sighed so heavily, and seemed so low-spirited, and sat down so
miserably, leaning his head upon his hand, and his elbow upon the kitchen-table
pushed away in the corner, that the seventeen princes and princesses crept
softly out of the kitchen, and left him alone with the Princess Alicia and the
angelic baby.
'What
is the matter, papa?'
'I
am dreadfully poor, my child.'
'Have
you no money at all, papa?'
'None,
my child.'
'Is
there no way of getting any, papa?'
'No
way,' said the king. 'I have tried very hard, and I have tried all ways.'
When
she heard those last words, the Princess Alicia began to put her hand into the
pocket where she kept the magic fish-bone.
'Papa,'
said she, 'when we have tried very hard, and tried all ways, we must have done
our very, very best?'
'No
doubt, Alicia.'
'When
we have done our very, very best, papa, and that is not enough, then I think
the right time must have come for asking help of others.' This was the very
secret connected with the magic fish-bone, which she had found out for herself
from the good Fairy Grandmarina's words, and which she had so often whispered
to her beautiful and fashionable friend, the duchess.
So
she took out of her pocket the magic fish-bone, that had been dried and rubbed
and polished till it shone like mother-of-pearl; and she gave it one little
kiss, and wished it was quarter-day. And immediately it WAS quarter-day; and
the king's quarter's salary came rattling down the chimney, and bounced into
the middle of the floor.
But
this was not half of what happened, - no, not a quarter; for immediately
afterwards the good Fairy Grandmarina came riding in, in a carriage and four
(peacocks), with Mr. Pickles's boy up behind, dressed in silver and gold, with
a cocked-hat, powdered- hair, pink silk stockings, a jewelled cane, and a
nosegay. Down jumped Mr. Pickles's boy, with his cocked-hat in his hand, and
wonderfully polite (being entirely changed by enchantment), and handed
Grandmarina out; and there she stood, in her rich shot-silk smelling of dried
lavender, fanning herself with a sparkling fan.
'Alicia,
my dear,' said this charming old fairy, 'how do you do? I hope I see you pretty
well? Give me a kiss.'
The
Princess Alicia embraced her; and then Grandmarina turned to the king, and said
rather sharply, 'Are you good?' The king said he hoped so.
'I
suppose you know the reason NOW, why my god-daughter here,' kissing the
princess again, 'did not apply to the fish-bone sooner?' said the fairy.
The
king made a shy bow.
'Ah!
but you didn't THEN?' said the fairy.
The
king made a shyer bow.
'Any
more reasons to ask for?' said the fairy.
The
king said, No, and he was very sorry.
'Be
good, then,' said the fairy, 'and live happy ever afterwards.'
Then
Grandmarina waved her fan, and the queen came in most splendidly dressed; and
the seventeen young princes and princesses, no longer grown out of their
clothes, came in, newly fitted out from top to toe, with tucks in everything to
admit of its being let out. After that, the fairy tapped the Princess Alicia
with her fan; and the smothering coarse apron flew away, and she appeared
exquisitely dressed, like a little bride, with a wreath of orange- flowers and
a silver veil. After that, the kitchen dresser changed of itself into a wardrobe,
made of beautiful woods and gold and looking glass, which was full of dresses
of all sorts, all for her and all exactly fitting her. After that, the angelic
baby came in, running alone, with his face and eye not a bit the worse, but
much the better. Then Grandmarina begged to be introduced to the duchess; and,
when the duchess was brought down, many compliments passed between them.
A
little whispering took place between the fairy and the duchess; and then the
fairy said out loud, 'Yes, I thought she would have told you.' Grandmarina then
turned to the king and queen, and said, 'We are going in search of Prince
Certainpersonio. The pleasure of your company is requested at church in half an
hour precisely.' So she and the Princess Alicia got into the carriage; and Mr.
Pickles's boy handed in the duchess, who sat by herself on the opposite seat;
and then Mr. Pickles's boy put up the steps and got up behind, and the peacocks
flew away with their tails behind.
Prince
Certainpersonio was sitting by himself, eating barley-sugar, and waiting to be
ninety. When he saw the peacocks, followed by the carriage, coming in at the
window it immediately occurred to him that something uncommon was going to
happen.
'Prince,'
said Grandmarina, 'I bring you your bride.' The moment the fairy said those
words, Prince Certainpersonio's face left off being sticky, and his jacket and
corduroys changed to peach-bloom velvet, and his hair curled, and a cap and
feather flew in like a bird and settled on his head. He got into the carriage
by the fairy's invitation; and there he renewed his acquaintance with the
duchess, whom he had seen before.
In
the church were the prince's relations and friends, and the Princess Alicia's
relations and friends, and the seventeen princes and princesses, and the baby,
and a crowd of the neighbours. The marriage was beautiful beyond expression.
The duchess was bridesmaid, and beheld the ceremony from the pulpit, where she
was supported by the cushion of the desk.
Grandmarina
gave a magnificent wedding-feast afterwards, in which there was everything and
more to eat, and everything and more to drink. The wedding-cake was delicately
ornamented with white satin ribbons, frosted silver, and white lilies, and was
forty-two yards round.
When
Grandmarina had drunk her love to the young couple, and Prince Certainpersonio
had made a speech, and everybody had cried, Hip, hip, hip, hurrah! Grandmarina
announced to the king and queen that in future there would be eight
quarter-days in every year, except in leap-year, when there would be ten. She
then turned to Certainpersonio and Alicia, and said, 'My dears, you will have
thirty-five children, and they will all be good and beautiful. Seventeen of
your children will be boys, and eighteen will be girls. The hair of the whole
of your children will curl naturally. They will never have the measles, and
will have recovered from the whooping-cough before being born.'
On
hearing such good news, everybody cried out 'Hip, hip, hip, hurrah!' again.
'It
only remains,' said Grandmarina in conclusion, 'to make an end of the
fish-bone.'
So
she took it from the hand of the Princess Alicia, and it instantly flew down
the throat of the dreadful little snapping pug- dog, next door, and choked him,
and he expired in convulsions.
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